Los Angeles radio host Bill Handel (and his news team) on KFI AM 640, on the break-up of Paul McCartney and his amputee wife, Heather Mills:

"Paul's friends knows why they are splitting, but Heather is stumped."

and

"Paul is taking the break-up well, but Heather is hopping mad."

and

"She won't have a leg to stand on in the divorce."

and

"Heather is so upset; she doesn't have anyone to lean on."

Mercy me, that's some funny shit!

Read all about it Lesbian brains are different from heterosexual female brains. Did we really need a study for that? I could have told these researchers that for half the price!

Read all about it This is an issue close to Michela's heart. Having adopted nearly every dog I've ever had from a local shelter, and been rewarded in spades with a happy, healthy, wonderful puppy dog, it sickens me to think of people who propagate the pure-bred dog industry. The results are discussed in this article, and they're disgusting. Puppies are taped to speaker boxes, strapped to the underneath of car seats, crammed into boxes, and smuggled across the US/Mexican border in hot cars. They're bred in horrific conditions, and shipped across the country by heartless, ignorant buyers on the internet. How can anyone with a conscience buy a dog? The likelihood of the source being some idiot who bred animals in family lines that are too close is big enough; you're still going to get birth defects. That's nearly your best-case scenario. In the worst-case, your new dog comes from a puppy farm, or a Mexican street breeder, and had a brief life that would pass for a horror movie, like the article says, if only the poor doggies could talk. So when you get a dog, and you end up with large vet bills and a broken heart, you got what you deserved. Too bad the doggie got what he got, and deserved nothing of the sort.

Read all about it Michela of MWB is no death penalty supporter; you could even say that she is opposed enough to be labeled an anti-death penalty "activist." We try to reserve that title for shrill idiots such as Mike Farrell, a winner of the elusive MWB Movie Star P-Fer award. However, my reasons are quite different from the average Farrell-style fools. I just happen to believe that the system is set up to be corrupt enough to send people to the death penalty when completely innocent (The Hurricane was a movie and a true story; and in the South, not uncommon enough). I also think the media parades which mobilize around these murdering idiots give them attention and sympathy they absolutely do not deserve. I find it a much better punishment to let these brutal killers die in oblivion. Would any sucker have bought a Tookie book if he were just another anonymous lifer? But here's a story, brought to us by www.PardonMyEnglish.com, which shows us that one of the most brutal killers of our time, the BTK killer, has all sorts of priveleges you and I would not have on a daily basis; lounging around in his cell, drawing, reading, watching TV. That's a life me, Michela, wouldn't mind on an average week. When you see such an injustice, it makes you think, hmm, maybe we should be offing these rats--preferably very slowly on a giant sticky rat trap with poisoned cheese within arms reach. The man was just convicted of torture and murder and within the year he's got a TV in his cell? It makes my anti-death penalty stance hard to stand by, and it's an outrage.

One of the hottest chicks ever to live, babewatch alum Yasmin Bleeth, has had a couple of drug and alcohol-induced police enounters. Instead of the laughable anti-drug campaign which showed an egg in a frying with the ominus voice saying: "This is your brain." Then: "This is your brain on drugs." They could have cut all drug use in half, at least, with: "This is Yasmin..."

And: "This is Yasmin on drugs..."

Before you email me, yes I know this is old news (2002-2003) but I couldn't resist commentary on Yasmin's DUI (coke and alcohol) arrest mug, which I just saw.

Read all about it How could an RN purposefully fail to sterilize surgical instruments? How about performing a few surgerys on her splayed open stomach with unsterilized instruments, see how she likes it! How cuh-reepy!!!

Read all about it The Dixie Bitches are so self-important and ridiculous at the same time. We all remember how they tried to create some sort of a sistahood with a European audience, and so they pronounced to their crowd something like “you know we’re ashamed the president comes from Texas [like we do].” Gee, Dixie Geniuses, in spite of how much we Americans are mocked over our geography ignorance, try asking a European to point to Texas on a map. They would probably point at California. Regardless, they’re at it again. They have the nerve to mock Buddy Holly, one of the greatest rock and roll stars in the history of rock and roll, in a song on their new album: "I hear they hate me now Just like they hated you. Maybe when I'm dead and gone I'm gonna get a statue, too." Buddy Holly, like the Dixie Bitches, is from Lubbock and, unlike the Dixie Bitches, has a statue in downtown Lubbock. The only difference? When the Dixie Bitches are dead and gone, hardly anyone will care. Still, Buddy Holly’s brother Travis responds: "He was loyal to his hometown, his church and his family. And I never knew of anyone who hated Buddy." And the Dixie Genius Bitches say the song... "...is not just about Lubbock, but about any small, hypocritical town." And I guess the Dixie Bitches get to decide what small, hypocritical towns are all about, and I wonder what a hypocritical “town” is, anyway. What the hell is a hypocritical town? And how having a statue of Buddy Holly in Lubbock is hypocritical is a mystery to me. Buddy Holly fans are still here, fascinated by and adoring of Buddy, even with a career cut so tragically short by that infamous plane crash. I say we try an experiment; let’s kill all the Dixie Bitches off, and see if anyone gives a rat’s ass about them 50 years from now. I’d bet you $100 the answer is “NO”...even 5 years from now.

Read all about it All crocodiles are bad-asses, IMHO. But even amongst the bad-ass crocodiles, this guy has got to be the baddest ass of all. This crocodile attacked a chainsaw being used by a worker to clear debris after those gnarly storms swept through Austrailia, and not only did the bad-ass croc not get hurt, he disabled the chainsaw permanently!! Now THAT'S a croc!

Read all about it This is "beautiful" justice, if ever there were such a thing. A super model bitch-slaps a flight attendant while coming to the US on a special no-visa program will be sent right back on the plane to Amsterdam. Damn! I'm not sure that's just punishment, but since this princess has been sitting in Miami Dade County Jail awaiting her deportment, that's just humiliation. We just like knowing the super beautiful, super rich don't get away with this stuff. Besides, having your pic posted on CNN.com looking like this....

is almost cruel and unusual... but she deserves it, yes she doth! Even MWB in its drunkenest brawls never bitch-slapped a flight attendant, and believe me you, they deserve it sometimes!

Read all about it The FDA has approved medications that cause heart damage (Fen-Fen, Vioxx), medications that relieve symptoms in a very small number of people, medications that cause permanent dizziness, medications that cause liver damage, psychotic episodes, ad naseum (totally intended). But they think medical marijuana has "no sound scientific studies supported medical use of marijuana for treatment in the United States." Have any leaders of the Fucking Dumb Asses looked at the side effects of ibuprofen? Aspirin? ALCOHOL? Who the hell are the Fucking Dumb Asses to tell someone pot doesn't help them at all, and worse, it "adversely impacts concentration and memory, the lungs, motor coordination and the immune system." I'll admit I've never met a pot smoker who was sharp while smoking pot, but try giving an IQ test to someone on Vicodin, morphine, codeine, OxyContin for christ's sake. OxyContin might well be one of the most addictive substances ever created (worse than heroin), with such a dangerous withdrawal that it can only be done safely under medical supervision in a hospital. Further, when said pot smokers weren't smoking pot, they seemed quite sharp and for all intents and purposes, quite functional. Find yourself a regular OxyContin user. Take their drugs away, and try to say the same thing. Fucking Dumb Asses!