Michelle Kwan woke up yesterday and realized she is almost 26 years old, and therefore she rightly left the Olympic figure skating competition to the youth of today. It's just a fact; Olympic caliber figure skating, especially at today's level of technical requirement, is simply too physically challenging for those entering their late 20's; even the guys start to sputter. Don't bother trying to tell me how old the last winner was in the Hawaiian Ironman. This is a completely different sport. Look at gymnastics; you may as well be dead if you're 18. It's just too bad she stole the chance for one of those youths to walk the Olympic opening ceremonies (Emily Hughes), in what will likely be her one and only Olympic games. Oh the irony that it was probably this walk that rendered Kwan unable to compete!

It turns out the controversy over the Muhommad cartoons (it's funny even to write such a statement) was generated by mullahs who passed out literature with over-the-top cartoons which were never even publised in the Danish news! Further, the Danish media is the only media standing up to those mullahs who have lied to stir this controversy, anger, and hatred as a method of brainwashing the muslim masses into homicide bombings. They are openly calling them liars, while the American and other European media outlets are tripping overthemselves to kiss their asses, and say Vichy-France things like "it was inflammatory after all..." It's sickening, truly, that anyone would defend them just because there are billions of Christians in this world and they are not all saints. Duh, man, duh! But they still don't go around blowing people up by the thousands. The Eric Rudolph-types are the tiniest fraction compared to the throngs of violent muslims waiting to line up to kill us all, just for being Westerners. But I digress... During discussions on this breaking news story this morning on KFI AM 640, the Jewish talk-show host, whose father escaped Nazi Poland by the hair on his chinny chin chin, described what happened in Denmark when the Germans invaded: "The Germans made the same proclamation in Denmark as they had every other country they invaded. All jews had to wear the yellow Star of David to be identified as jews. The day the proclamation went into effect, all Danes wore the yellow star. Even the King and Queen of Denmark went out for the day with yellow stars sewn onto their clothing, and declared, 'Indeed, we are all Jewish.' The net effect was that the Danes saved nearly all their jews, unlike any other country in Europe." I have an unbelievable newfound respect for the Danish people. I had no idea!

Read all about it Unless you're trying to avoid the Santa Monica Squeeze (which, regardless of diet, can be done easily by purchasing a properly fitting dress, as Fruity points out), it looks like you can go mangia bene on all the bacon you can shove past your chewing cuds. Alas, fitness has more to do with a lifestyle than a foodstyle. Thank gawd.

As much as this site should _the_ epitome of free speech, it's still my site. Anyone and everyone who knows me knows I'm not a drama queen, I hate drama, and having possibly learned the source and extent of yesterday's/today's comments, I've deleted all of it. I'll have none o' that sheet on MY site. End of story. You want more pure free speech? Go to www.rotten.com. Especially since freedom of speech doesn't include personal attacks, and again, I own this here slice of cyberspace. So there. Don't bother posting anymore bullshit anyone, I'll delete you, ban you, and delete you again and nobdoy will ever see your tiresome rants.

Read all about it A robot baby dinosaur made by the Furby guys?! I must have one! I will be first on the list!

Read all about it A so-called revolutionary woman dies, and these are the best things people have to say about her upon her death. Says Friedan's son Jonathan: "Betty was not the perfect mother..." Nice. But he was okay with her rotten mothering when thousands cheered her at a rally. Hitler could sure work a crowd, so could Stalin. Soooo having people cheer for you at a rally is not exactly a life accomplishment to boast about, unless being an infamous dictator was your goal. Especially when you preface such an achievement with the fact that said person was a rotten mother. Then there's the quip from her daughter: "She made so many connections and yet was exquisitely lonely...Maybe the ultimate contradiction was that Betty just didn't fit into this world. That was her curse, and yet she started a revolution." There just aren't many accomplishments great enough to make me willing to sacrifice my life and children such that the pathetic statements above are the best someone could say about me when I die. No matter what revolution she started, she was a pitable human being, and the reason she wrote a "feminist manifesto" is because she was miserable. And she wasn't miserable because the "patriarchy" was holding her down. Just like angry feminists who follow her today, with the glass ceiling shattered and the bras lying in ashes, they're miserable because they are just miserable people. And even if they ruled the world with all men at their feet they'd be miserable.

Read all about it I wanna know why a "university biologist" (a euphemism for a welfare recipient by way of tax-funded reasearch dollars) had to perform a study to find that human poop will kill plants. And that may it ain't such a good idea to use human poop to green up the 18th hole of your favorite golf course. I mean seriously people, you needed a damn study for that? Eew!

Took a trip to Santa Monica for a burger, but what we got was a Pillsbury Dough Girl. Jerl, Brett, et al tell me this is a muffin top. Could be, but would you eat it? I sure as hell wouldn't...

And can someone tell me what's with the hair, and the coat that could attack?

Read all about it To quote one of my favorite lines from the Sopranos (it's a scene where Janice, forced into anger management classes when she beats the crap out of a soccer mom, starts a fight with a black lady in the same class and a brown-clad UPS guy also in the class says "This is fucking priceless." The scene, alas, is truly priceless as well). The Frogs and Krauts with their newly-found balls have triggered worldwide protests, threats of kidnappings, and no doubt violence, all because they printed that silly cartoon of Muhommad. I LOVE it. It shows those degenerate, dark-age monsters for what they are. So locked in the insanity of their own religion they're willing to destroy real human beings for decidedly small infractions against the same said religion. Do those muslim boobs have any brains at all or are they just really just little coyotes wandering around in packs killing every other little mammal for the slightest pinky claw step into their wild territories? If they're not, they should fucking stop acting like they are.

I really hate movie stars, this site has a Movie Star Pig Fucker category after all. Unless a star hits that category, I could care less about them. They're communists, stupid, self-righteous, and uninteresting parrots with nothing new to say about anything. But I couldn't help myself here. Lindsay Lohan, one of the ugliest It-Girls ever, has been in another accident. In fact, she's been in a lot of accidents. This time, she "slipped" down the stairs of fellow nobody Bryan Adams (anyone remember who that is?!) and sliced herself with a teacup, of all things. I say slice, cnn.com says "cut." If you have to go to a hospital for treatment rather than peel open a bandaid, you're sliced. She's also been in two car accidents where she's the driver. I realize she may be passing drug/alcohol tests at the time, but every good drunkard knows that mental impairment can last long after the BAC dwindles, depending on the bender. I shall wait for the "rehab" headlines as undoubtedly, she's headed there. She's got bucks to buy all the substances she could possible swallow, and so she's got three options: Get some treatment, join Michael Jackson in the Bahrain insane assylum, or join Chris Farley et al six feet under. Latest Accident Car Accident Another Car Accident