Who are these people who insist on using their windshield wiper fluid while they are driving. I realize their cars are so filthy they must use windshield wiper fluid in lieu of a good cleaning (remember folks, we live in SoCali where there has been no rain for months). But while driving? What, you didn't know your windshield was filthy before you pulled out of the driveway? You think since your car is so filthy that the rest of us must have filthy cars too, and therefore do not care that you just spewed Windex all over our cars? 'Scuse me?

Everyone who has any idea who on earth Dr. Laura is and what she stands for has an opinion about her. You either worship her as a lone apostle standing against the self-centered evil of the do-what-you-want-if-it-feels-good society, or you despise her as an artifact of antiquity looking to keep homosexuals and women under the boot of white male patriarchal oppression. On whichever side you fall, it'd be nice if you could pull your opinions out of the black or white side of all your issues and see her for what she is; a person who fights for the good of kids (how terrible), and on occasion, can really offer a major bit of assistance to people in pain. Here is a transcript of a call that just about made me sob: Caller: Dr Laura:

Big BIG kissaroo to Nike Nike is still making petite workout clothes, even though so many Americans neither work out nor buy workout clothes to use in an actual workout. The "Small" in the Addidas line is only a small on a fat farm by our estimate. Thank you Nike for keeping us svelte little creatures on your radar; we buy everything you're shipping tp our local super sleek Nike store.

Read all about it Frequently, the 'medical community' is simply protecting their industry when they restrict medicine from the common person. And frankly, if you wanna cook or kill your baby with an ultrasound, that really should be your problem; the 'medical community' can tell you you're nuts, they can recommend against it, but they shouldn't be allowed to ban you from buying an ultrasound machine. But I have digressed into the everyone-is-responsible-for-their-own-actions land, which is a far, far away place. The real gem in this story is that Tom Cruise is such a maroon he fails to see what a maroon he is with this ultrasound business, and admits it so openly. Ultrasound is a somewhat risky thing for maroonery to be playing with. It can burn you, it can do all sorts of bad things. For cryin' out loud, it sterilizes surgical equipment; imagine what it might do to a baby or its poor little brain. But since Tommy is such a fan of science, let's just leave him to his little science experiments and see what happens, shall we?

Read all about it Just when you thought it was safe to eat those Tijuana street vendor hot dogs, you know, the ones you know have cat meat in them (ever seen a cat on the streets of TJ? hmm?), the cheese made in the bathtub across the street from the nudie bar on Revolucion is unsafe. What's next? Bad eggs from the chickens who wander the toll road just south of Ensenada? Perish this thought...

Pleeeeeeeeze tell me why I must be subjected to such a gawdawful picture to check my yahoo mail. Yes, geekfreeks, I can block images from yahoo. But then I can't see the images on the buttons or many other useful things when I am in yahoo mail. First, we had to stare at the ho-hum brunette for something near 2 years. Now we have a rotating set of pictures, and this picture is one of them. So it's worse, even, because we might get the nice pic of the surfer, or we might get the guy who's ripping his eyeball sockets off his face. Yahoo, I'm 'bout ready to bail to gmail.

Go see all about it Featured in magazines all over the world, these are collars, leashes, luggage tags, and yes, charms for your treasured furry companion. Cats can also revel in the AbFab selections. Charm 'bracelets' for your pooch, charms you can share, we're all over it. Since we love our anti-pets (click here for the anti-dog and anti-cat pix), we'll be looking to expand the ways we absolutely spoil our absolutely fabulous furry friends with these absolutely fabulous accoutrements!

Read all about it I'm rolling on the floor. A 'disaster preparedness consulting firm' whatever the hell that is, who knew there was such a thing, we thought disaster preparedness was comprised of the HR hags running around making sure you have your evacuation plan posted in your cubicle. But anyway, such a thing does exist. Okay, fine. Now, which firm in their right goddamn minds would hire FEMA fool Michael Brown? I can hear the advice to executives now... "Make sure you do not use email as a communication tool during the disaster."

Read all about it No fan of illegal immigration, friends will be surprised to hear me say that children born on US soil should maintain their rights as US citizens. I'm also no fan of the old slippery slope defense, you know, when one says if you change this thing that really should be changed, well, then it's just a short pebble skip to many more changes that shouldn't be changed so you shouldn't change the thing that should change because it makes it too easy to then change the things that shouldn't be changed. Follow? (You're surpirsed to hear nobody ever suggested I write a legal textbook...) But it does seem clear if you alter the 14th ammendment to eliminate the chance for kids born here to be US citizens, well, there's no telling what a future corrupt government could do with the concept of citizenship. This issue shows why the constitution should not be a living document, and here's where it could bite liberal idealogies in the ass. If you interpret the constitution as a living document, and mold it to solve or prevent the problems of the current day, this is what you get; conservative whackadoos trying to solve the problem of illegal immigration with a current-day interpretation of the 14th ammendment. You solve illegal immigration by stopping it, not by reinterpreting the constitution and revoking rights guaranteed by it.

Read all about it 'member all those lessons mom and dad taught ya', like the grass is always greener, and the one we really hated, money can't buy you happiness? I mean, cuz, we were sure if we had a million dollars, our problems would be, like, way over. Well, this couple shows how right mumsie and pops really were. DUI's, drug overdoses...both of the winners of this uber jackpot, dead within five years of winning that 65.4 mil. Know what that looks like spelled out? $65,400,000. And that couldn't buy a DUI lawyer and a stint in drug rehab? Who needs a drivers license for 65 mil; you can buy a lot of taxi rides. And crickey, buy the whole Betty Ford center...but, alas, sanity does not come with instant wealth. Now, Marla and Michela...we would find happiness and spiritual serenity at the golden temple of life ("South Coast Plaza").